The Best "Last Chance"

[NinaG]

“Now for our eighth diver, Nina Gortowski. Dive number 104, forward two summersaults, tuck, 2.2”.
Sectionals is at our pool, our home, again as it has been every year. As I hear Davis call my name I slowly and carefully step onto the board and throw my chamois onto block number four. This is my lucky block because I won my first ever age group race in this lane when I was eight on Elmhurst Swim Team. ‘This is it,” I think to myself, ‘This is my final chance to prove that I can do this.’ I take my place about seven feet from the end of the board; the exact spot were I have started this dive for the past three years in a row. I sense the roughness of the board underneath my feet, and move them around just to get comfortable. I take a slow, deep breath, inhaling the smell of chlorine around me and wiggle my fingers around, mentally preparing myself for this moment. I play with my left thumb, where I usually have a ring and envision sticking this dive. Looking to the stands I see Scot, my dad, my mom, and my grandpa all watching intently, along with the parents of every other diver, just waiting to see what I am going to do. Some of them want me to fail, while others are cheering me on in their heads, knowing that this dive is the dive I’ve wanted to hit all along.
Diving is my life. Period. Ever since sophomore year I have lived for the feeling of the board under my feet and the feeling of hitting the water just right, producing the absolute smallest splash possible. The entirety of my three seasons on York Swim and Dive led up to the sectionals meet senior year. Sectionals, for those who don’t know, is the meet that determines who continues onto state for both swimming and diving. Two divers and ten swimmers get the chance to go to sectionals every year and I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to go all three years.
I can remember earning a spot at sectionals my junior year and having one of the senior girls, Stephanie, who felt that she had “deserved” a spot on the sectional team talk about me behind my back.
“She’s not even that good at this,” she said to Jeni, one of the other girls on the team, “I don’t get what Coach sees in her because I am clearly the more talented one. I didn’t go last year because she took my spot and she won’t be taking it again this year.”
To determine the last spot for the team Stephanie and I had a “dive off” at our last dual meet of the season, which was also her senior night. We both had the same line up of dives with the same degree of difficulty to ensure that it was completely and totally fair. When all was said and done I beat her by 15 points, which in diving, is huge because a winner can be determined by a tenth, and sometimes even a hundredth of a point. As the scores were announced, and I had placed above her she looked over at me and gave me her “death stare” which really just made her look like she was squinting into the sun. I looked over at Kate (my sectional partner who had already earned a sectional spot at that point) assuming that she had seen the whole thing and we burst out laughing. Unfortunately for her, and fortunately for me, I ended up taking Stephanie’s spot; I was now clearly more talented than she was.
I can remember Senior Night this year (we were the “senior citizens”), how I could glance up from the end of the board and gaze at the hundreds of encouraging posters hanging up around the pool. Each girl on the team had made each senior a poster to wish them good luck. Posters with the words “Swim Fast, Dive Pretty!”, “We Love You Seniors!!”, and “Lets Go Dukes!!” were scattered all around the walls. Looking at these posters an “outsider” to the York pool would have realized that they had stepped out of the real world and into our world, the world of swimming and diving.
As my mom pushed me down the bulkhead in a wheelchair after the 50 free (I had already dove, and got first!) Coach Davis told stories about me, like how I got sick at LT last year and where I wanted to go to college, my favorite memories and other random information. Tears started to form in my eyes, realizing that this was it, this was the last time I would ever compete in a dual meet for the Lady Dukes Swimming and Diving. I was greeted at the other end by the junior girls and I received a bag full of gifts like a bottle of pool water and a pair of “granny panties” to signify how “old” I really was. It was a beautiful day, but sad at the same time, realizing that it was all finally over.
It’s moments like these, meet after meet, person after person, that all led up to my final dive at my final sectional as a part of the team. All these emotions and all this hard work made this final moment possible and better than I could have ever imagined.
I draw in one more deep breath. One, two, three, four steps, starting with my left foot. My left leg shoots up into the air, almost as if I were skipping and my arms reach up to the ceiling above my head. In one smooth swooping motion they come back down as my feet hit the board together and I am launched up into the air. ‘Throw, squeeze, kick hard’ I think as I go spinning through the air. One, two summersaults and I kick my feet towards the water as hard as I can. My hands snap to my sides like a soldier and I squeeze my whole body tight. I hit the water and realize, I did it, I finally completed this dive without pain, and with all of my family watching me. I come up to hear Coach Davis announce the scores.
“Scores, 3.5, 3, 3.5, 4, 3”
I look to Coach Deenihan, my coach, and all I can see is a huge smile spread across her face. I look to my mom, dad, and grandpa and they all give me thumbs up and smile. They had seen me do this dive at conference…and land flat on my back, getting scores like .5 and 1. They knew what a big deal this was for me. As I hop out of the water I am bombarded by Shannon, my sectional partner this year, and Tori, my sectional sister. I am squeezed so tight I can barely breathe, but I would rather have this than have someone come up to me, pat me on the back, and say, “you tried your best.” This time I really did try hard and the outcome was better than anything I could have ever expected.
I ended up with eleventh at the meet, but I managed to beat my score from last year by 60 points which amazed both me and my coach. This experience, this “last chance” taught me to never stop trying, to never give up because eventually you will only have one last chance to make everything work out. I took my last chance and used it to my advantage, making it my best last chance ever.

[Ken G]

Not bad babe.
You pulled it together pretty well.

Line breaks and punctuation are always going to be the hardest part. Read things out loud. Your voice will naturally tell you where to put a comma, a period, or change the phrasing a little to clarify something. Also, if you stumble while reading it out loud, your readers will stumble at that spot too.

And, as another writer that visits here will tell you, avoid putting anything in "quotes." The importance of what you are trying to say will make itself clear if you're clear. No need to point it out with quote marks.

Write more, it's the only way to get better.